Free At Last, Free At Last! Thank God Almighty, I'm Free At Last!

Today's my ETS date, the official end of my term of service, and I admit... I am bitter. Angry, even. In fact, I'm downright pissed off.

It's like a movie or book ruined by a shitty ending. The first half, my time in the artillery, I'll treasure for the rest of my life. It wasn't all good times, and a lot of it sucked hard, but... it was worth it. We did good, things I'm still proud of having been a part of. There are people whose lives are better for what we did, and I'm a better man for having been a part of that.
Too bad I've been watching it all unravel over the last couple of years.

The second half, my years in that goddamned military intelligence company as a UAS operator, I'll regret for the rest of my life. I made some good friends there, but it was a waste. Thanks to that company, my career is over and I'll never fly UAVs again. The only part I do not regret is having done what's right - even if it did cost me my career.
The watershed moment for that one was coming back after having spent a month filling an E-7 slot (and doing it better than the E-7's, being as I was significantly more proficient with the UAS than they were) and being counseled by the recently promoted E-7 sex offender that I was ineligible for promotion thanks to the results of a psych evaluation. Never mind that I had debunked the evaluation and gotten a second opinion which explicated that the first was full of shit, never mind that the psych eval contradicted the rest of my psychological history and was internally inconsistent, I was *clearly* unfit for service.
And so I was (and am), but not for the reasons A-Co 1 BSTB claimed. In just a few short years, the military had changed. Some - not all, but some - of the difference can be explained on the cultural differences between the artillery and the MI. On-High claimed it was a return to the 'higher' pre-war standards, blind to the contradiction inherent in such an idiotic supposition that there could be a higher military standard than being fit for service in a wartime... and that standard could involve only the most superficial and banal traditions, the only purpose for which seems to be innovative inertia and intellectual laziness. So yes, I was unfit for service because I am a man of honor, someone whose moral integrity remains unimpeachable, and someone who recognizes that loyalty and duty are not things to be casually tossed aside.

But most of all, America, I'll hold a grudge against you. You miserable bastards, who elected Obama and that pack of Democrats for the purely selfish reason of wanting 'free' healthcare and with the promise of getting back at those evil rich people who've somehow made your lives so miserable (never mind your having made incredibly stupid decisions, it's all someone else's fault). You sorry sons of bitches who elected the Great Peacemaker, and in so doing pissed away everything I worked for my adult life, pissed away the sacrifices of thousands of servicemen, pissed away thousands of Iraqi lives just so you could feel better about yourself and have the temporary illusion of peace and the even more ephemeral illusion of security. You worthless wastes of oxygen who haven't the faintest notion of honor, loyalty, or duty who thought only about what you could steal through taxation, whose only impetus to vote was a childish need to have the government provide for you.

Well, what do you have to show for it? What did you win by ending the war? What did you gain by the Affordable Care Act? Is your life better for trying to wrap yourself in the comforting protection of the government. How has your life been improved by one of the most scandal-ridden, opaque, diplomatically inept, economically incompetent, arrogantly condescending and wasteful administrations in American history?

'Cause I can tell you what we've lost.

Heartbreak in Iraq

Seventeen hundred Iraqi troops died yesterday in an attempt to defend their country from the militants ours and their civilian governments assured us all were no longer a problem. The heart-wrenching story of a nation falling, of this generation's South Viet Nam (a prophecy, it seemed, the American civilians were determined to fulfill - congratulations, you win, good job)... is being largely ignored.

Fuck your celebrities and athletes. Fuck Game of Thrones. Fuck Starbucks. Fuck all this other shit that Americans *clearly* think is more important. Fuck civilians. The only thing that disgusts me more is the realization that in another decade you spineless, limp-wristed assholes will be chomping at the bit to go fuck up another country, throw away thousands of your own defenders, throw away billions of dollars, and then cut and run before the job's done.

But hey, at least the wars are over and we got free health care, right?

I might be a little angry about this.

That's it, I'm Not Breeding. Ever.

An eighteen-year-old New Jersey girl is trying to sue her parents for tuition after she moved out. Not just for tuition to continue her 3.5 GPA at a private school (that's it? 3.5? I beat that and I skipped most of my Junior year), but also to support her financially while she attends the college of her choice.
Even the Commie News Network has a field day with this... relatively speaking. The only therapy the parents need is someone explaining to them that being a "liberal, liberal parent" (quote from the father, find the source yourself) isn't exactly a good thing.

Holy heavenly monkey-fuck, how do you go that wrong in raising a child?

If I have to explain to you what's wrong with her lawsuit, we're going to be here all day. Instead, let's focus on how truly and deeply the parents have failed. Let's compare her and her upbringing to me and mine, because I feel like pointing out how awesome I am compared to this miserable waste of carbon whose greatest contribution to society is and shall ever remain the mockery we make of her.

The first time I was kicked out of my father's house, I was twelve years old (give or take; it was the end of fourth grade). Vague allegations of abuse like this girl's making? Nope - I can rattle off a list of abusive things my step-mother did. Damn shame I never mentioned it at school when I was getting into fights, suspended, and eventually expelled. Actual events, though by this point I don't remember the dates - nor do I care to. That's a lot more than this girl's got, apparently. I moved in with my mother in Bowling Green, OH, and my father pulled me back after she moved to Chicago. The second time I moved out, it was all on me and it was my decision. I was fifteen-sixteenish (look, eight years is a long time if you've been in the Army for seven of them and if I was good at math I'd never have re-upped), and wanted to move out because my father was remarrying and I saw a lot of similarities between that woman and my first stepmother. I didn't wait to give her the benefit of the doubt, which it turns out I should have 'cause my mother was a verbally and emotionally abusive alcoholic. The fallout from that is still playing out; our relationship hasn't quite recovered from it. That lasted about a year and a half before I moved back in with my father and new stepmother. That lasted about a year and a half (until I was nineteen) before it became apparent to all involved that I really should get out on my own.

Compared to my backstory, this girl - cheerleader, honors student, attends private schools, has lived in a liberal household where her parents tried to be her friends - has been living a goddamned fairytale dream life. It's time for her to wake up.

While I was living with my father and stepmother, especially after I turned eighteen, there was a contract of sorts - much like, I imagine, these parents provided for their precious little snowflake crotch-fruit daughter. I was expected to (shock! horror!) do the chores in exchange for room and board. Not a bad deal, really; I was pretty much just a live-in housekeeper with no pay but all the amenities you could ask for. Hell, they even helped me with college tuition in exchange for my labor - which I suppose balances out when you compare my story with this girl's, because I never got to attend a fancy private school.
... Well, except for the one I got kicked out of in the first grade. It was a Catholic school, and the nuns thought I was the Anti-Christ.
I got kicked out of a lot of schools growing up.

It never once occurred to me, despite my upbringing being a whole lot less privileged and pleasant than this girl's, to sue my parents. The fact that this case made it as far as it has (the judge didn't throw all of it out, more's the pity) is a disgrace not only for her and her parents, but the New Jersey legal system. Here's the fun thing about being an adult, kids: You are independent. Your parents owe you nothing. They brought you into this world and spent a hell of a lot of money raising you. They don't owe you a goddamn dime after you turn eighteen and become a legal adult. The fact that these parents failed to instill this value in their daughter, the fact that they were incapable of drilling through her mildly-intelligent brain the nature of 'independence' and 'adulthood' disgusts me.

The Dream of America

Every time someone says "I'm not interested in politics", "I don't waste my time voting", or something else to that effect, I am reminded of the Iraqi elections. Displeased that they were losing the absolute power they had enjoyed under Saddam (and I'm simplifying, of course; this is a blog, not a dissertation), the Sunnis boycotted the elections - only to discover that doing so effectively silenced what voice they might have had in their own government.

If you claim to be disinterested in politics and are proud to be unaware of what goes on in the government, you are an irresponsible wastrel upon whose shoulders rest the burden of guilt just as surely as on those who commit those crimes against the Constitutional ideals. You are what has empowered these corrupt politicians. You are what has permitted them to remain in power. You are their accomplice, their willing cohort, their meek servitor.

You are the problem.

America was not founded to be a nation of uneducated serfs who vote by blind allegiance. The idea - the dream of America works only if the voters are educated, intelligent, and above all critical of their elected officials. The Republic is the most precarious of governments because it requires not that the bureaucrats be diligent nor that the rulers be wise, but that the people - the common folk on the street - be both diligent and wise, for they are their own rulers and the bureaucrats work (much as they may wish to deny it) for them. The responsibility for the regulation and maintenance of the government lies on the collective shoulders of the common man. This is not a novel concept, nor is it a particularly difficult one. Ben Franklin remarked on the precariousness of the Republic and responsibility that lay on the individual citizen very nearly as soon as the Constitution was drawn up with his answer of "A Republic, if you can keep it." This was understood on Day One.

Why have you forgotten? Is the eternal vigilance demanded of free men too hard? Are the obstacles too great to overcome? Are the difficulties in setting right what has gone wrong insurmountable? Is there a price too great for the dream of America - for the land of opportunity, for that nation dedicated to the principles that all are created equal and endowed with inalienable rights to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness?

Getting Out

First and foremost, I am not getting out because the deployment and operations tempo was too much. I'm not getting out because I couldn't stand going to foreign countries with absolutely miserable weather and even more miserable people. I'm not getting out because the pay's too low or because the sergeants were mean to me or any of that pissy shit. I joined because I was a believer, and I'm leaving because I am not. Not anymore.

I'm getting out because I've realized something. Something important, something crucial, a fundamental flaw in what I was trying to do. I joined the Army to serve my country and defend liberty, but the only means the military force can serve that end is through coercive force (whether it be violence or merely the threat) - and it can only do so in the final extremity. The military cannot protect freedom, it can only - through coercion - create an environment wherein free men might institute a government that safeguards and fosters their natural rights. That oft-repeated and cherished myth that the military fights for your freedom is... just that. It's a myth. It's fallacious. The military can no more create freedom than can that thug on the corner with the pistol (commonly referred to as a 'police officer'). The threat of force does not and cannot make someone free. The only thing we can do is intimidate and kill those who threaten freedoms. Unfortunately, while we pursue those who threaten American liberty with all the eager grace of a hippopotamus, Americans have been steadily losing the struggle for liberty on the home front.

I'm getting out because of Americans. I'm getting out because they are unworthy. I'm getting out because America would rather be coddled, taken care of, looked after, and feel safe than live in the dangerous, risky, real world. I'm getting out of the Army because Americans no longer want to be free men, because the most fervent desire, the secret hope of the majority of this country is that they no longer need suffer the burdens of freedom. I understand - I really do. I understand their cowardice, their complacence, their short-sighted, narrow-minded, desperate and burning need to feel safe in this scary, scary world.

I do, after all, recall being a small child.

I am no longer a child. Neither is anyone in this country with the right to the vote, at least not physically or legally. However, I am neither the parent nor legal guardian of the American people. I will not accept the responsibility of their protection whilst also being beholden to their insane whims. I will not fight for them, will not put my life on the line for their liberties while they vote again and again to put into power those whose sole objective is the subversion of the Constitution, which James Madison wrote to limit the powers of the government, and in so voting they subvert my every endeavor. I will not fight for a country which has betrayed me time and again, and betrayed everything which I have fought for time and again.

I will not.

Martial Law and Dumbass Democrats

So, I saw an article which had a video clip wherein Sheila Jackson Lee (D-Texas, of "Is the Mars rover near where the astronauts planted the flag?" fame, and proof that they breed 'em extra-stupid in Texas) calls for martial law to end this present governmental shutdown.

Okay.

For a one, the previous governmental shutdown threatened by the Democrats in 2011? Well, I'm sure that's plenty fine for them to do it. Apparently, though, if the Republicans do it then it's the end of the world and a massive crisis of unparalleled proportions.

Do you, out of curiosity, know why the government's been shut down? I'm sure you've seen the version that the left is quite eager to push on the American people through our unbiased and completely, totally honest mainstream media. The version wherein the Republican party has filibustered the government into shutting down rather than pass a bill funding the Affordable Care Act (which used to be known as Obamacare until the media realized pretty much everyone hated it)? Alright. That version's partially true. You see, the Republican-controlled House passed a bill containing language that defunds and delays the ACA for another year and removes exemptions from Congresscritters. This budget bill is thoroughly unpalatable to Harry Reid and his Democrats, who apparently don't think they should attempt to follow the will of the people or have the same laws as apply to us peasants apply to them. The Democrat-controlled Senate and the White House squashed that bill, and then were amazed when the Republicans filibustered the bill that funded Obamacare (and the rest of the government). John Boehner and the Republicans have introduced a series of bills which essentially funded the government in piecemeal. The Democrats rejected these out of hand, because apparently nothing is better than something.

This includes funding the national park system. The Democrats - for the first time in American history - have shut down every national park in our country, including businesses and private property on them. I say "Democrats" because Obama is a Democrat - and it ain't the left you hear griping about this tyrannical pettiness. Much has been made of this, and I'm sure I could make a blog post in and of itself over the whole thing. I'll spare you that this time.

Oh, and the Democrats have been claiming that the ACA is the law of the land and that we shouldn't try to change that.
So is the Second Amendment. That hasn't even slowed them down.

Just remember that, though, next time the elections come up. The Republicans shut down the government to spare you massive increases in your cost of living, and then tried to offer compromises to bring back up the more popular programs of the government. The Democrats, in tyranny unprecedented, refused the compromises and demanded that it be all or nothing while doing everything in their power to deprive the American people of our parks, our resources, our rights.

Rep. Lee, I don't think you understand what martial law entails. The American military is sworn to support and defend the Constitution against all enemies, both foreign and domestic. Unlike you, we take that oath very, very seriously. The American military is overwhelmingly conservative and libertarian, viciously protective of American rights and intimately familiar with just how terribly the American government mismanages practically everything - especially health-care.

Call for martial law. I'm sure it will end very well for you.

Holy Smokes!

I admit, I pretty much completely forgot this blog existed. But, when you rediscover your own blog by clicking on a link in someone else's...
In case you're curious, I found it on gottagetdrunkfirst. Good read, they don't do political correctness over there.

Well, my time as the crusty old sergeant of the UAS platoon is almost up. I've all but been handed my papers, and I honestly can't say that I much mind. The military is being thoroughly neutered into this toothless, pansy-assed organization that confuses itself for anything but what it is. That, of course, is the military defenders of American freedom. We kill people and break things for freedom. I think it might depress you to realize how few troops realize that, and how many actively argue against that statement. I know it's got me scratching my head. You see, my commander-in-chief is looking at engaging us in yet another war - despite cutting troop strength and funding and basically rooting out and hunting down combat troops to give us the boot.

Now, don't get me wrong. Chemical weapons are a bad thing. There's just too many questions around this for me to agree with the deployment of US troops and materiel against ol' Assad. For starters, there's some noise that the nerve gas might have actually come from the rebels themselves. One of their own mis-handling the gas. As Leonidas of Fighting in the Shade goes into in greater depth and detail than I care to on his blog, it simply does not make sense for Assad to be gassing his enemies when he's already winning the war. If, however, you take the approach that the US government's desire is to support the Al Qaeda-backed Muslim Brotherhood, then suddenly it makes perfect sense to manufacture a reason for us to attack the Syrian regime in support of the rebels.

After all, the Syrian rebellion is the Muslim Brotherhood... much like in Egypt. This Arab Spring thing isn't turning out so hot, is it? We've got our enemies killing our enemies in Syria, and the only thing we can think to do is to start bombing everyone? As if that will somehow not make them both realize that they hate us more than they hate each other?

Like I said. Too many questions, and unlike with Iraq and Afghanistan there's neither a clear-cut goal of liberation nor a defined enemy with a present and plausible threat to America, her citizens, and her allies. I simply don't trust the Administration that gave us Fast and Furious, Benghazi, Obamacare, the IRS targeting conservatives, and so many other scandals and bald-faced lies. If lawfully ordered, I will go... but personally, this whole deal stinks worse than the porta-johns after a week in the Iraqi heat.

Godwin's Law

I ran across a right proper douchecanoe in the Youtube comments. I introduced it to certain facts, the way reality works. It said I *must* be an enlisted man, because no officer could be so stupid - in between spouting off such venom that I'm pretty sure it woulda ended in a fistfight if we were within arm's reach. Don'tcha just love the GIFT (that's Great Internet Fuckwad Theory for you non-nerds)? It means we get these keyboard commandos who dehumanize their opposition to a frightening extreme. Some of these Western leftists are worse in their venom than the jihadists.

Here's my take on it: "Oh, look, Nazi Germany 2.0." No shit really. Violent thugs who unthinkingly follow the commands of a collectivist leader, run in a cult of personality, demonizing all opposition, that's how Hitler got to power. Thankfully, we don't have any politicians who are as bad as Hitler... yet. If we did, though, you're kidding yourself if you don't think it could happen here. It won't be the political right, either. They value the individual too much, they usually have absolute morals, and they think of the Constitution as a fundamentally sound document that doesn't need rewritten. No, it will be the leftists, the collectivists (again), who've spent so much time and energy demonizing and dehumanizing their political opposition that an American-style Kristalnacht is just a good speech away. They do not believe in absolute right and wrong - they think that right and wrong are points of view, dependent on the situation. They do not value the individual, whatever they may claim, and instead view people only as demographics. They do not believe in the founding principles of the Constitution, those being the rights to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness, believing instead in the right to do what they please, so long as it offends none, the right to healthcare, the right to be taken care of, the right to surrender themselves and their protection to the State! Everything I see them doing is moving towards the end of destroying traditional American culture and creating a collectivist utopia in its stead. A nightmarish utopia, where minorities reign above the white males for crimes committed before my birth, where the citizen does not have the right to his own property, much less the right to defend himself, where the group matters more than the individuals, where the mob tears apart those who dissent in a vicious frenzy of political correctness.

If you find yourself getting violently pissed off about politics, either start taking some happy pills or suck-start a firearm. I mean that. We're all better off without you. You're a chock-block. You're an impediment to progress.

Me, Shitbag?

It's funny how one incident can give a commander a completely wrong picture about someone. I was kinda-sorta-but-not-really related to the incident, but TRADOC being TRADOC I got dragged along for the ride. It basically meant that me - a specialist, an E-4, a junior enlisted soldier - had to sit there and try not to pay too much attention to the captain chewing out the sergeant. The captain thought it proper that the sergeant have a battle-buddy, and I don't outrank the captain.
But I thought it was pretty darn disrespectful to the sergeant, so I apologized to him for that as soon as we were clear.
Details aren't terribly important, it was one of those "What were you thinking?" type things. Because it wasn't me being the dimwit and instead someone I respect the hell out of, I won't relate 'em. The captain came away from this little meeting thinking of this sergeant as a lying self-centered bastard. That's the opposite of true. SGT Suhr's one of those sergeants who looks after his joes and tells us the God's honest truth. If he told me the sun was set to rise at 2359 tonight, I'd know it was 'cause he was damn sure the sun was set to rise at 2359 tonight. Apparently I'm disloyal, too, 'cause I didn't immediately leap to be present for my superior's dressing-down. Like I said, it's funny wrong an impression of someone you can get if you only know them from one interaction.

Also, you ever notice how you think of all the right things to say immediately after the door's closed, precisely the moment they stop being useful things to think of?

Shitbag Privates

Holy smokes, what is it about new privates that just makes my blood boil? The little bastards are rude, disrespectful, and cocky. Some of them are salvagable, but it seems that most of A-Co's initial entry... I hesitate to call them 'soldiers'... types are better off being thrown back into the civilian population. At least then they won't put me or my buddies in danger. Back in C-Btry, we looked at the arrival of new soldiers with a mix of glee and dread. Glee, because we'd get to pull all the old shenanigans on a new troop. Dread, because odds were he'd be a shitbag who'd wind up causing everyone in the battery a lot of headaches before he got caught with a DUI, popped hot on a piss test, or molested an underage girl (the only three offenses I've seen people get kicked out of the Army for). Just about every new soldier was an eighteen-to-twenty-year-old private who thought he was all that and a bag of chips because he graduated basic training. While some of that I can blame on their age, a lot of it simply goes back to TRADOC. They don't get taught that, while their dumb little buddies in IET land were just as low on the totem pole as they are, the soldiers in their unit ain't.

Take for example one of the little shits in my class. He's an E-2 barely out of BCT and not quite through IET. I'm an E-4 who's been some places and done some things. He acts as though following my directions were entirely at his option, and I have no recourse beyond going and grabbing an NCO! And because this is TRADOC, all the NCO can do is put him at parade rest and chew him out. He can't smoke him, can't write up paperwork on him. I've told him that I hope he winds up in the same unit as me. I fully intend to either break him as his drill sergeants should have done or make sure that when he screws up, the command does not look kindly upon him. I've had enough with shitstain privates. I don't mind the ones who're just dumb, but have a good attitude. I don't mind the ones who're cocky, but squared-away enough to back it up (that much). But when I'm chewing a private's ass because he decided that he would disregard my directions to continue working with the rest of the class rather than skip out to 'take out the trash' for twenty minutes, and he blatantly disrespects me? I tell him to go to parade rest and wipe that smirk off his face and he shoves his hands in his pockets? Fuck no. If the class leader (a SGT) hadn't intervened... heh, I probably woulda wound up losing my clearance and getting kicked out of the school. He thinks he's hot shit 'cause he can do 200 push-ups. Swell. That's completely unimpressive to anyone who's done PT with SSG Cobb (I bet everyone in old C-Btry remembers those "DIAMONDS!"). Doubly when you consider this private has lousy form and has to take breaks during this. Playing by the same rules, I can do over 500. You'll never hear me claiming that, though, 'cause I can really only do 50-60 a rep. Hell, you'll never hear me claiming that because I'm not some douchebag private who mistakes PT for soldiering. He asks "Why?" questions of an NCO. Anyone who's been in longer than three weeks understands that you do not do that. Period. Private does not ask "Why?", Private executes. If he's lucky, he'll figure out the "Why?" while he's doing it. The class leader had to tell him several times to get to parade rest. Not "At ease", not smirking, at parade-fucking-rest. What will his platoon sergeant do? Not a damn thing.

Before you think I was the one who started this, I wasn't. Except, perhaps, by being too soft and too nice to these kids. Believe me, I know how to be an asshole. I learned from the best. I chose not to, as it's not my job here. But when I start having to deal with a little bastard who disrespects everyone who doesn't have stripes on their chest... Well, I'm fully capable of putting away the Nice Guy hat and busting out with the Bastard McAssream hat.

This private is not the exception. He is the norm. This is why I have no intention of staying in the Army. TRADOC completely fails to instill any degree of respect into the new soldiers, and more and more the high command prevents units from correcting this oversight. They teach these kids that there's no such thing as rank inside the GCS. Bullshit there ain't. You can't pull rank to settle a disagreement over safety-of-flight issues, but there damn sure better be rank all the rest of the time. Privates need to follow the orders and directions of their superiors because... well, hell, they're the juniors for a reason. They don't know anything. If a private won't follow directions during a simple clean-up task, how can I expect him to follow directions during a firefight? How can I expect him to follow directions during a long, difficult mission? I can't. We are an Army at war. Even the noncombatant types like UAS operators need to understand that. I have a buddy who repairs optics. It's a job that sounds as poggie as... hell, the Navy these days. He's been in more firefights than he can count. What happens if I wind up in a knock-down drag-out firefight, and I have to rely on some shitbag private like the one described above? I'm trained and proficient in warfare. It comes naturally to me. I'll probably get killed trying to keep that jackass from getting himself killed, all because he won't listen to me when I'm trying to train him up... because he thinks that just because I'm not a sergeant, he doesn't have to listen to anything I say. Ignore the fact that I've spent more time in Iraq than he has in the Army. Ignore the fact that I've spent more time wearing a vest than he has wearing ACUs. Ignore that, he's an eighteen-year-old private and he knows everything.
Way to go, TRADOC. Glad some officer got that bullet on his OER. How many soldiers get killed because you won't let Drill Sergeant do his job the right way? How many shitbags have you released to the Army who we had to devote excessive time and energy into straightening out? How the hell do you think this is the right way to go?

"I hate this formation and everyone in it" or "Why Schnepp owes the retention NCO a swift kick in the balls"

I've come to a conclusion. I hate the Army. I really, truly, deeply, hate the Army.

Here's why:
I just spent an hour and a half doing 'PRT'. I broke a sweat because it was really hot out. Half of the exercises involved holding my knees in a really painful position for two minutes a pop. The NCO leading PT thought this was good PT. Here's a hint, folks, it's not physical training without movement. I specify knees because mine are fucked up courtesy three years running around with full battle-rattle on and playing artillertard in between being a discount infantryman. This is not a concern for fobbits, whose knees only hurt if they used 'em to get promotion points.

I have to come into work several hours early to get a flu shot. I am twenty-two years old and healthy as a horse. Why the holy heavenly monkey-fuck am I getting a flu shot?

I apparently need to file a pass to go to Tucson, Arizona. It's an hour's drive away. This is for 'accountability'. The command also likes to ignore the policy letter they put out stating that us prior service jackasses are to be treated as permanent party... and permanent party doesn't have to file a pass to go seventy fucking miles. But we do. Apparently, my class leader (an E-5) is not qualified to be able to track me down after I tell him, "Hey, Sergeant, I'mma gonna go to Tucson". No. I need to file paperwork one week in advance my request to go to Tucson.
But I don't need to do this for Tombstone.

First Sergeant will state he looks out for all his soldiers, MOS-T and IET alike, then he'll only give IET kids the opportunity to go train up for the bigger UAS. His reason? The ERMP units already have NCOs. Because, y'know, apparently I've been promoted without anyone telling me. Finance does not approve of this as a reason to give me back-pay.

If I get a private back-talking, I'm not allowed to snatch him up and give him what-for. I have to tell the platoon sergeant that the private was misbehaving. Yeah. That's effective at instilling discipline.
If a private back-talks to a sergeant who isn't cadre, the sergeant is not allowed to smoke the private. He has to tell the platoon sergeant that the private was misbehaving. Yeah, that's gonna teach these pukes respect for the rank.
This while the First Sergeant tells us that all the MOS-T soldiers are NCOs and supposed to lead the IET pukes. How? They're goddamn civilians in uniform, how the hell can you expect them to act like soldiers?

Whatever happened to the Army I joined? Y'know, the one where they believed in the carrot and the stick, not just the carrot? Oh, right, we gotta be nice now. It's the kinder, gentler Army. Because that gets shit done.

I have to stand in formation for an hour and a half listening to Top, the Captain, and a butter-bar who I've spent more time in Iraq than he has in the service (ROTC/West Point don't count, jackass) give me a safety briefing. Thank you very much, I did not know I was not supposed to drink and drive.

I keep hearing about this spice shit. I wanna try some. I'm not kidding, every goddamn briefing involves spice someway, somehow.

At one point in my career I had to carry around five pieces of headgear. Five. FIVE. I do not have five heads. Why the fuck do I need five pieces of headgear? Here's why: I had the balaclava for when it was below 20. I had the watch-cap for when it was between 20 and 32. I had the beret for when I was out of the motor pool and it was above 32. I had the patrol cap for when I was in the motor pool and it was above 32. I had the ACH for when I was driving a military vehicle, and yes I had to have it in reach at all times even though I didn't have a license. Yes, the temperature would range like that in a single day. No, it still didn't make sense to have that many goddamn hats. If it does make sense to you, suck-start your weapon.

I am fully capable of driving a vehicle without a crash helmet. For that matter, I'm fully capable of climbing a vehicle without a crash helmet. Don't point out that helmets won't do shit for the neck. Or the hip. Or the ankle. Or the arm. The head's the only part you might hit when you fall off the truck, after all.

I've never touched alcohol in my life, and now I wanna drink. If nothing else, taking scoops out of my brain might help these command decisions make sense.

There are a great many sergeants for whom NCO stands for "No Chance Outside". I've only met a handful who were good at their jobs. The good ones don't re-up 'cause they can find a better job that has twice the pay with half the bullshit.

I spend one month's worth of time out of any given year sitting in the CP standing by. This is not unusual, and in fact some guys spend even more time standing by. This is 'cause the higher-ups won't release us until they're done doing the work they've been putting off to the last minute, even though we were done right after lunch.

There's the simple, easy way to do things that is immediately apparent to anyone with a brain in their skulls. That way is not the Army way. The Army way requires that you file at least three different documents at least a week in advance before, that you receive a three-hour safety brief, that you compile a composite risk management work packet, that you bring along five times as many people (in which case the shithead NCOIC will ensure everyone is working) or half as many people (in which case the shithead NCOIC will be nowhere to be found and half of those people won't be doing a damn thing) as are required for the task, and afterwards that you conduct an after-action review that takes - at the barest mininum - thirty minutes. Any attempts to deviate from this mandatory procedure will result in anything from a negative counseling to UCMJ.

Last but not least: I had to listen to some fuckwit in a fancy suit talk about how we've lost the war just to score in an election, then I had to put on my battle-rattle, mount up in the MRAP, and go out on patrol.